dream

i was the person who believes in dreams ( sometimes still believes it -_-" ) most of the time i decide based on my dreams..but usually i'll look at the time that i woke up..if it's in the tahajjud time + i'd take my wudhu' before going to bed, i'll believe 90% of the dreams (see...that's a STRICT restriction to believe a dream =b hahahhaa)... if dreaming during nap time, it'll considered as mainan syaitan =b ngeh3...

i hang on my first crush because i dreamt of him meeting my parents and grandpa.. yup..he did manage to meet my parents in the real life, but not yet to see my granpa.. i still believe that he is the one that will be my husband although he rejected me (i confessed after he waits for 5 years  -_-" n i confessed because forced by my friend... u might think that i'm not sincere..but...please.. i'm not brave enough to tell the person that i like about my feelings..(up to this moment, still don't have the gut -__-" ).. i placed my hope on a tiny piece of string called dream until................................ i saw a girl's pic in his fb..at that time, my heart cracks, but still the tiny 'string' is holding me... and 1 day, i have to face the truth when he called me inviting for his wedding.. n now, he lives happily with his family... (but the big, bad evil inside me is still hoping -_-" bad..badd... i know... huhuhuu )

and what make me keeps nagging this early in the morning (currently 5.35 AM and start writing around 5.15 AM =b) ?





i dreamt of him  (again) and this time it's so real that i don't want to wake up... huhuhuu... it's difficult when u r a stubborn philophobia.. n he being himself is so full of egoistic who constantly testing me.. when he speaks, it'll only lights the anger in me -_-"

i hate him for sure..but deep inside me.. yes... i have to say this in my dear diary, I LOVE HIM.. but the stubborn philophobia inside me of course won't tell him the truth... how maaaaa?????? -__-"
o Allah..please, i'm the tiny creation of all your creation, please guide me... beside the tiny 'string' , i have you.. the strong force that make everything happens... show me the way... amin...