dream

i was the person who believes in dreams ( sometimes still believes it -_-" ) most of the time i decide based on my dreams..but usually i'll look at the time that i woke up..if it's in the tahajjud time + i'd take my wudhu' before going to bed, i'll believe 90% of the dreams (see...that's a STRICT restriction to believe a dream =b hahahhaa)... if dreaming during nap time, it'll considered as mainan syaitan =b ngeh3...

i hang on my first crush because i dreamt of him meeting my parents and grandpa.. yup..he did manage to meet my parents in the real life, but not yet to see my granpa.. i still believe that he is the one that will be my husband although he rejected me (i confessed after he waits for 5 years  -_-" n i confessed because forced by my friend... u might think that i'm not sincere..but...please.. i'm not brave enough to tell the person that i like about my feelings..(up to this moment, still don't have the gut -__-" ).. i placed my hope on a tiny piece of string called dream until................................ i saw a girl's pic in his fb..at that time, my heart cracks, but still the tiny 'string' is holding me... and 1 day, i have to face the truth when he called me inviting for his wedding.. n now, he lives happily with his family... (but the big, bad evil inside me is still hoping -_-" bad..badd... i know... huhuhuu )

and what make me keeps nagging this early in the morning (currently 5.35 AM and start writing around 5.15 AM =b) ?





i dreamt of him  (again) and this time it's so real that i don't want to wake up... huhuhuu... it's difficult when u r a stubborn philophobia.. n he being himself is so full of egoistic who constantly testing me.. when he speaks, it'll only lights the anger in me -_-"

i hate him for sure..but deep inside me.. yes... i have to say this in my dear diary, I LOVE HIM.. but the stubborn philophobia inside me of course won't tell him the truth... how maaaaa?????? -__-"
o Allah..please, i'm the tiny creation of all your creation, please guide me... beside the tiny 'string' , i have you.. the strong force that make everything happens... show me the way... amin...

in learning

there's a BIG, DEEP, HUGE difference between

READING and UNDERSTANDING  -_-"

finished reading for twice, third (first written as trice; tgk kamus (in a trice means dalam sekelip mata ;O silly me =b hehehhee) apa aku melalut ni -_-" ) , fourth time but still the journey of understanding seems very difficult for me =((

saya harap hari ini saya tak akan mengalah LAGI -_-"

tapi nampaknya DUGAAN sudah datang LAGI -_-" =(( (received a message from a friend asking to accompany her for lunch.... of course difficult for me to refuse =b *ketuk kepala!!! AARRGGHHH!!! * )

praying hard that i need to understand THIS ONE JOURNAL BY TODAY!!!!!!!
GAMBATTE ME!!!!

SETTING MY GOAL FOR THIS WEEK THAT I NEED TO MEET WIWI THIS FRIDAY...NO EXCUSE!!!! 


p.s.i.love..u;

"ingatlah diri...kau sangat beruntung mendapat jalan yang mudah ini...ramai yang inginkan apa yang kau ada sekarang..kau yang diberi peluang oleh TUHANMU YANG SATU itu, diharap tak mensia-siakan segala ruang dan peluang yang ada...di sini adalah AMANAH..di sini adalah PELUANG... yang semuanya akan disoal di AKHIRAT nanti.... dengan lafaz yang mulia, saya mulakan minggu ini dengan kalimah paling agung, BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM =) pray for me, my dear diary (',~) "